ALL IS WELL

I’m back at the library this week (the nice local agency). Hurray! How I’ve missed Jeni Barnet and her righteous, mummsy banter on LBC at lunchtime.

I’m covering someone’s two week holiday so back next week too. 
I cancelled my dole application as things seem to be picking up.
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DOES ANYONE HAVE A HELICOPTER I CAN BORROW?

I wish lorries would stop breaking down on the M25. I thought it was just bad luck yesterday, but oh no. There was another traffic stopping lorry incident today. There’s never any evidence of these lorries when you do get moving. They’re an unexplained phenomena – like Pete Burns.

I’m averaging an hour late a day by the time I get to my desk and I refuse to leave home earlier than 7.30. It’s a 9.30 start and two hours is more than enough to be travelling either end of the working day. I’ve gone from 5 minutes walk to work, to two hours every which way but cruise.

Moaning aside, the work is nice and so are the people. It doesn’t seem that busy though. I’m wondering if I might be surplus to requirements but am doing my best to pretend otherwise.

I tried the canteen at lunchtime. It was amazing. Like a top notch restaurant with too much choice. I had fish & chips for £2.50. You could get seriously fat if you worked here full time.

The library called me today to ask if I’m available next week to cover someone’s holiday. I said yes immediately and thanked god for quiet offices, short journeys and parking spaces.
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IS THIS THE ROAD TO HELL?

There’s no way I was enduring the public transport ordeal again 
today so I decided to drive. It had to be quicker, plus the lovely 
Terry Wogan could keep me company.

The traffic was flowing like a dream on the M25. Until I got round the corner where it came to an abrupt standstill for no apparent reason. We crawled a bit, then stopped again. Crawled a bit, then stopped. Then Terry’s traffic woman said a lorry had broken down on the M25 near Heathrow airport.

I was only half an hour late but I couldn’t park. It was hard enough getting myself through security, but a car! No chance. I had to dump it in Tesco’s 
car park and phone the agency to tell them to phone the client and say 
I was running late (again).

Just one more hurdle to get through until I could begin the day’s work – Security. I heard they were bringing the Krypton Factor back. Maybe this could be one of the challenges: Navigate yourself to said destination on time and without going mental.
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CAN SOMEBODY CALL SECURITY

I wasn’t sure of the best way to get to Middlesex where I’m working for the next few days, so I got up really early and got the train, then the tube for 19 stops, then a bus. I was still 20 minutes late.

When I finally got to my destination, the place was enormous and I didn’t have a clue which area I was supposed to be in so I went to the main security gate and queued behind a group of bemused foreigners. When I got to the desk I gave the contact name I’d been given.

“Ain’t on de list” said the guard. I wasn’t sure if he meant me or the guy I was trying to report to.

“Stension number?”

“Pardon”

“Ex-ten-sion number”

This went on for sometime before it became apparent I was in the wrong building. When I eventually got to the right one I had to repeat the process with security. I wasn’t allowed through the gate without someone coming to collect me, or an official pass.

I called the recruitment agency to tell them how well it was going and to ask if they’d call the person I was supposed to be working for and get them to retrieve me from the security box.

Finally, I saw someone come out of the building, so I legged it like I was escaping from Guantanamo Bay and yelled “Do you know Pete Davies?

“Yeah – he sits in there. I’ll take you through” said the nice man as he nodded at the security guard.

When I finally got to the right room, it was empty. There was about 25 macs playing various screen savers but no people. I half expected Jeremy Beadle to appear at this point, but then I remembered he was no longer with us (god rest his soul).

Half an hour later some people appeared and pointed me in the direction of a free mac. I sat there checking my emails and looking busy until someone came over and introduced themselves. Turned out she was a freelance artworker and did I want a cup of tea? Later she’d show me where the canteen was. Apparently most people there are freelance, which explains the complete lack of direction.

It was almost 12.30 by now and I finally met the person in charge. Well - his PA who apologised profusely for all the confusion and suggested it would be a good idea for me to go to lunch now. The project managers were still getting their arses in gear and there would be some work this afternoon. No sooner was I in and established at a mac, I now had to get out again. There was no way I was going to navigate the canteen so I borrowed someone’s security card and found the nearest shop – a massive Tesco. 
If only it was a Sainsbury’s. There’d be a salad bar and everything would 
be OK.

I did eventually get a couple of hours work done before the 2 hour journey home. And it was nice work. Content for a TV ad.

Think I’ll try driving tomorrow
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EVEN SMALLER WORLD

The internet is still down!

Someone sourced some images at home last night and emailed them to me, but I couldn’t log into my email to retrieve them as the internet is down.

Luckily an illustrator came in today to do the boards. And even more luckily, 
I knew him from my years at Tequila. We’ve worked together lots of times. He’s great and together we got it all done.

Off into the unknown again tomorrow.
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SMALL WORLD

I’m staying with my best mate Claire in her studio flat in London. The next two days work is just up the road. It’s lucky we’ve known each other all our lives as we’re sharing a bed in a very small space. When we were kids, skipping through the daisies in the countryside, we never envisaged this is where we’d be at almost 40. 
But times are hard. And when times are hard, we laugh.

Work today was a challenge. The internet and email were down all day and 
I didn’t realise how much I rely on it. I needed reference images of various things and I needed them quickly. I couldn’t get them and I can’t draw from memory so I was stuck. What did people do before? Go to the library? Look through stock shot books? Yes they did. I remember. But no one has stock shot books anymore, and there’s no time to go to the library.

It’s a small world. I know the account director I’m working with from my 
ex-job where she was freelancing. And the client’s familiar as well. I had 
a chat with the boss at lunch time. He too knows my ex place of work.

“Isn’t that where people go to die?” he said.

Maybe I had a lucky escape.
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SAVED BY THE BELL

I had two calls from two different recruitment agencies today. One for 2 days concept development at a London marketing agency (Monday & Tuesday), and the other for a weeks creative/design work at a large media company in Middlesex.

I didn’t want to say no to either, since beggars can’t be choosers, so I managed to negotiate with the second one to do Wednesday, Thursday 
and Friday. Brilliant.
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LEST WE FORGET

It occurred to me this morning that my appointment at the dole office is on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. I never thought I’d be wearing my poppy and observing a two minute silence in the dole queue.

My appointment was 40 minutes late. I thought about legging it. Surely some work would come up soon? Did I really need to be here?

I listened to the interview taking place in front of me. The man in the shell suit was an out of work hairdresser apparently. There were several hairdressing jobs coming up on the system, but he didn’t do colour so they were no good.

Finally it was my turn. The nice lady took down my particulars and asked me what I’d been doing about looking for work. I filled her in on all the agencies I’ve signed up with and all the emails I’ve sent, plus the fact that I’d had some freelance work.

“Lets have a look if we have anything on our system for you”, she said as she logged on to what looked like an early 1970’s prototype.

“Here we go. Cad operator at a printing company in Shepherds Bush”.

“Errmm... that’s not quite what I do” I replied, not wishing to sound unwilling.

She printed the job spec out anyway and told me to call them. I also had to make a diary of everything I do to find work in the next 2 weeks and bring it to my next appointment. I’ll get about £60 a week, paid every 2 weeks.

Let’s hope the phone rings soon.
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IN THE DOLE-DRUMS

I’ve been considering signing on for sometime. I’ve never done it before 
and I don’t want to do it now, but I’ve decided I’m going to have to swallow 
my pride. It’s been 6 weeks now, and apart from a few days, work is not forthcoming. Although you wouldn’t know it looking at some of the 
recruitment sites.

I put my hoody on and went to the dole office this morning. It was full of middle class city types in the same situation as me. Not what I expected.

They gave me a phone number. I had to go home and call it to make an appointment. After answering a barrage of questions on my status and ability to work, I now have the dubious honour of an appointment on Tuesday morning at 11am to sign on. Lovely.
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AMERICA HAS DECIDED

Barack Obama is the new President of America and the world. Or at least he will be soon. They don’t half like to string these things out over there. This news spawned worldwide relief and one of the funniest ads I've ever seen.

Meanwhile, I’m setting up a limited company to cope with all this freelance work I’m not getting.
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AMERICA DECIDES

The world is waiting in anticipation while America goes to the polls to decide it’s next president. Let’s hope they count the votes properly this time.

I’m at the library designing a new year campaign for a health club.
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