PILE-UP TV

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I’ve tried to keep a sense of humour throughout this ordeal, but I’m afraid it’s beginning to wane. I haven’t worked for over a month (OK - there was Christmas in the middle) and I feel I’m in danger of saying “balls to it”, turning on the telly and watching Jeremy Vile.

It’s bad enough that I’ve become addicted to Celebrity Big Brother. Last week, the highlight of my week was watching a drunken dwarf crash a scooter into 
a door and declare his feelings for the helium voiced La Toya Jackson. 
If only I had some cash in the attic.

I fear I’m on the slippery slope to car crash TV addiction. I’m fighting this fear with a daily outing to my local park. I walk to the lake, run round it and try and guess if other people on their own are credit crunch casualties. I live in an affluent town which has been hit hard by this recession. There’s a lot of unemployed commuters here.
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WHAT A LOAD OF KAKA

Still no sign of any work. I sent several emails today and made more calls to remind people I’m available. I’ve pretty much exhausted all avenues.

According to the news, I’m not alone. They described it as carnage. 2000 jobs have been axed at Barclays, 450 at Jaguar Land Rover and 300 at Zavvi amongst others.

Meanwhile, Manchester City have bid 100 million quid for some bloke called Kaka. They’re offering him half a million a week in wages. If that’s not twisted, I don’t know what is.
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PARLAY VOO LANGUAGES?

Every day I get about 20 job alert emails from Creative Pool. These alerts for suitable jobs are automatically sent based on the criteria I filled in on their website. Here’s a selection of job titles I received today:

Multi-Lingual Artworker: Greater London – TBC
Junior Artworker for Transport Co – Central London: 20k
Cantonese Speaking Typesetter – Central London – Excellent pay

I must log on and check my details. I’m sure I didn’t add languages as one of my skills. Unless I got confused and thought I was signing up for a dating site, in which case I speak Cantonese, Afrikaans and Urdu.
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CALLING ALL AGENCIES

As suspected, no joy with the agencies. Only one answered and was highly optimistic about all the briefs they’ll be getting in the next few weeks (the first week in January is always dead apparently). The others simply don’t take my calls. The worst culprits are the ones that are ‘not a colour’. I haven’t even spoken to the guy since I went in and registered in October. And it’s not for lack of trying. This is how the conversation goes:

“Hi. Can I speak to Trevor please?”
“Who’s calling?”
“It’s Jo Elliott.”
“What’s it regarding”
“Errrrrrm... work.”
“Are you available for work?”
“Yes. But can I speak to Trevor please?”
“I’ll just try his line for you”

[I hold for a while].

“I’m sorry. He’s in a meeting. Can I take a message?”
“No it’s OK. I’ll try AGAIN later”.

Aaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh
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NEW YEAR, NEW START?

Christmas came and went. And so did New Years Eve. Usually I go somewhere exotic but this year I hibernated in rural Northamptonshire, licking my wounds from the previous year and wondering what this one will bring. This – the year when I’ll be 40. I should probably be settled down with a couple of kids by now. Passing my time baking cakes and meeting my new friends from the NCT class to slag off our husbands over a skinny latté.

But I’m not. And I have to find some work.

I thought I’d give the agencies a few days to settle back in before I start sending them emails to ignore, or calling them when they’re in a meeting.
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DRIVING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

The Gallo Wines thing never really happened. I was supposed to go back to the Krypton Factor for the rest of the week but I had to cancel. I have got what some people might call flu, but is probably a very bad cold with aching bones and a thick head.

I’m closing down for the festive season. Due to lack of funds, there will be no company Christmas Party this year. Ba humbug and all that.
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ATCHOOOOOOOOO!

I’m working in Liverpool Street for a few days. I feel absolutely terrible. I am on the verge of catching the cold/flu/sickness/man flu thing that’s been going round. I was sneezed on at the Library and I was sneezed on at the Krypton Factor. It was only a matter of time.

The work didn’t come in today. The client put the meeting back at the last minute so I read up on Gallo Wines on their website. I felt too lousy to do any real research such as drink some, but I managed a half hearted browse round Spitalfields Market. I’m definately ill as I didn’t buy anything.
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